Birds and Bees

Despite the lack of sex education at my all girls catholic school (we were taught abstinence) How ridiculous! Coz you know if you tell kids not to do something of course they’re going to listen hahahahahaha! 

What a load of bullshit! Any one with children knows if you tell them NO – then it’s like a red rag to a bull! They’re gonna go and do it full speed ahead!

I knew, thanks to my mum and the book she got from the library, that you could fall pregnant the first time – any time you had sex! 

Yes my mother got me a book from the library to teach me about the birds and the bees.  Libraries are places where books can be borrowed, for those that don’t know haha! With the introduction of the world wide web there isn’t much need for borrowing books.  All the information you might need – and then some – is only a click away…..

My first introduction to periods and all this reproduction stuff came about when I was 9 or 10.  I was hanging out with 2 of my friends, Carmen and Sandra,  when they started talking about how women bleed once a month from there vagina!


I told them they were full of shit!  I was horrified!!  They were persisting that it was truth so I ran all the way home to my mother, spitting forth the vile things that these girls were declaring when my mum said “honey I think you better sit down” or something to that effect.  She confirmed the horrid truth and promptly got me the book to read!  

Fuck me!  I am going to have to put up with bleeding once a month in order to procreate!  Fuck I wanted to be a boy SO bad at that stage!  All the fun and NONE of the consequences!  Hhhhmmmmm!  Wear a surfboard between my legs, not go swimming and go on the pill if I wanted sex with no babies!

So I went to a doctor to get the pill. 

Yes I am one of those people that always thinks of the consequences of their actions – or as I like to say – smart! Bloody common sense if you ask me. There’s no way I was going to lose my virginity and get lumbered with a baby or have an abortion!

Any way back then – yes I’m old – you had to be 16 years old to get the pill!  So I lied about my age which was easy as I’m tall & went and purchased my little pack of safety. I was working as a checkout chick at KMart so had my own money. No need to lie to mum or pinch money out of her purse coz I had the cash. I just had to find a good place to hide them – inside the lining of my butterfly pyjama bag.

Now all I needed was a guy to pluck my cherry!

Such an Angel

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