I was born in Williamstown hospital on the 23rd of August to Terry and Dawn – my Dad’s birthday – I was baptised and raised a Catholic girl. Attending Catholic Primary school, a school that was built by parents, I started prep the year it was opened and went through to grade 6. Then like the majority of my peers sat the entrance exam to attend Catholic Girls College. I stayed until the first term of Year 11 when I promptly got a job at Telecom and left school as fast as I could! Damn I hated that place!
Being born and bred into Catholicism requires one to attend church every Sunday and day of holy obligation as well as the appropriate ceremonies such as first communion and your confirmation! Proud moments for my parents I’m sure but I was already getting inquisitive of the brainwashing & questioning what was being shoved down my throat! This did not go down well at school where I was often kept in after class as a trouble maker! All I was doing was trying to understand things that were being force fed to me – things that needed explaining but of course no one could explain and I was supposed to accept it! Besides I’d discovered sex and that was way too interesting haha! What in the hell is wrong with sex and the naked body? They too were created by “God” To me they are the most beautiful – how could they be wrong?
I loved working way more than school and stayed at now Telstra for 11 years. Married my first husband in 1992 & I left work before my first son was born. While my mother was dying in hospital. She passed away just a month before her first grandchild was born! A life altering moment! My best friend and mentor leaving me when I needed her most!
I have 3 beautiful children to my first husband & my gorgeous youngest daughter to husband number 2! It was hard raising kids without my mum but you have to do what needs to be done and I felt so blessed with my 3 beautiful children.
My second marriage came with 4 children and along with my fourth that made 8 kids! We built a huge house and along with it had an enormous mortgage! Being a step parent definitely comes with its own set of problems but suffice to say I did the best I could for all our children and still love them all very much!
I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2010. I wasn’t that surprised really with all the cancer in my family and many friends who had walked that journey I thought “oh well it’s my turn” and got on with trying to beat the bastard!
Needless to say I’m still here but the worst was yet to come! Not having to sell the dream home and moving many times because I had cancer or the husbands ex had lost the plot again and we had the kids. No life was yet to throw the fucking book at me – with the death of my beautiful 20 year old daughter!
Yes my beautiful girl Star died of cancer in 2016! Cancer took my mum & now that cunt had taken my daughter! Why was I destined to lose so much! I battled with that loss – enough was enough! I’d lost family members and best friends but this loss I couldn’t bare! 2 psychologists and a psychiatrist, medication, wanting to die and many sessions later, I’m still here, still breathing, still trying to figure all this shit out! The one constant that has seen me through has been my art. It is through self expression that I have kept my sanity (or I’m just crazy ha) pouring my heart out through painting & poetry, art has been my catharsis and my saviour! Through deaths, marriages, children, sex, drugs, affairs, love, weight loss, weight gain, depression, self doubt and finally acceptance!
I’m still here, still breathing and still trying to figure out this thing called life. I have been on a journey of survival and self discovery! A very spiritual journey throughout my life which has taken me from Christianity to Buddhism, Beautiful Balinese Hinduism and now back to the old religion Witchcraft. They all serve me actually – they are fundamentally all the same & I am blessed to have 2 beautiful guardian angels to guide my path! I have discovered that it’s always been about the brightest and purest light of love! Love IS the answer! I have always had the power within me – I know that now!
Rising from the ashes of hell into the pure light and power of love! I am a warrior mumma – I am the Goddess Ascending!